IB/{rdmavt, qib, hfi1}: Use new routine to release reference counts

The reference count adjustments on reference count completion
are open coded throughout.

Add a routine to do all reference count adjustments and use.

Reviewed-by: Michael J. Ruhl <michael.j.ruhl@intel.com>
Signed-off-by: Mike Marciniszyn <mike.marciniszyn@intel.com>
Signed-off-by: Dennis Dalessandro <dennis.dalessandro@intel.com>
Signed-off-by: Jason Gunthorpe <jgg@mellanox.com>