xfs: make attr removal an explicit operation

Parent pointers match attrs on name+value, unlike everything else which
matches on only the name.  Therefore, we cannot keep using the heuristic
that !value means remove.  Make this an explicit operation code.

Signed-off-by: Darrick J. Wong <djwong@kernel.org>
Reviewed-by: Christoph Hellwig <hch@lst.de>