RDS: Make sure cmsgs aren't used in improper ways

It hasn't cropped up in the field, but this code ensures it is
impossible to issue operations that pass an rdma cookie (DEST, MAP)
in the same sendmsg call that's actually initiating rdma or atomic
ops.

Disallowing this perverse-but-technically-allowed usage makes silent
RDMA heuristics slightly easier.

Signed-off-by: Andy Grover <andy.grover@oracle.com>