nbd: only return usable devices from nbd_find_unused

Device marked as NBD_DESTROY_ON_DISCONNECT can and should be skipped
given that they won't survive the disconnect.  So skip them and try
to grab a reference directly and just continue if the the devices
is being torn down or created and thus has a zero refcount.

Signed-off-by: Christoph Hellwig <hch@lst.de>
Link: https://lore.kernel.org/r/20210825163108.50713-6-hch@lst.de
Reviewed-by: Josef Bacik <josef@toxicpanda.com>
Signed-off-by: Jens Axboe <axboe@kernel.dk>