vhost: Allow worker switching while work is queueing

This patch drops the requirement that we can only switch workers if work
has not been queued by using RCU for the vq based queueing paths and a
mutex for the device wide flush.

We can also use this to support SIGKILL properly in the future where we
should exit almost immediately after getting that signal. With this
patch, when get_signal returns true, we can set the vq->worker to NULL
and do a synchronize_rcu to prevent new work from being queued to the
vhost_task that has been killed.

Signed-off-by: Mike Christie <michael.christie@oracle.com>
Message-Id: <20230626232307.97930-18-michael.christie@oracle.com>
Signed-off-by: Michael S. Tsirkin <mst@redhat.com>