netlink: factor out extack composition

The ext_ack writing code looks very "organically grown".
Move the calculation of the size and writing out to helpers.
This is more idiomatic and gives us the ability to return early
avoiding the long (and randomly ordered) "if" conditions.

Reviewed-by: Johannes Berg <johannes@sipsolutions.net>
Signed-off-by: Jakub Kicinski <kuba@kernel.org>
Signed-off-by: Paolo Abeni <pabeni@redhat.com>