aio: add a iocb refcount

This is needed to prevent races caused by the way the ->poll API works.
To avoid introducing overhead for other users of the iocbs we initialize
it to zero and only do refcount operations if it is non-zero in the
completion path.

Signed-off-by: Christoph Hellwig <hch@lst.de>
Tested-by: Avi Kivity <avi@scylladb.com>