dlm: fix connection close handling

Closing a connection to a node can create problems if there are
outstanding messages for that node.  The problems include dlm_send
spinning attempting to reconnect, or BUG from tcp_connect_to_sock()
attempting to use a partially closed connection.

To cleanly close a connection, we now first attempt to send any pending
messages, cancel any remaining workqueue work, and flag the connection
as closed to avoid reconnect attempts.

Signed-off-by: Lars Marowsky-Bree <lmb@suse.de>
Signed-off-by: Christine Caulfield <ccaulfie@redhat.com>
Signed-off-by: David Teigland <teigland@redhat.com>